"Infertility" - A Short Film By Ruby Riot Creatives
Infertility is…
Attempting to come to terms with the reality that your health for the rest of your life is in the hands of someone with a prescription pad.
Infertility is…Your heart breaking every time you see a new mom with her child, knowing you'll never know what that's like.
Attempting to be gracious to yourself when you’re not being the emotionally-present and stable partner you want to be for your significant other.
Being a walking petri-dish or lab experiment, medical professionals find "interesting."
Throwing your diet regimen out the window when you're doubled over in unexpected pain.
Making weekend plans only to have your mood and emotional state knock you on your ass.
Pondering if it's possible to live a life of self-mastery when you are on a seemingly never-ending rollercoaster of man-made hormones.
Having your mental state revolve around if your doctor decided to call in your prescription before the weekend, so you don't have to bleed through the entire weekend.
Wanting to watch horror movies to distract you from your own pain.
Having your entire day hijacked by an unexpected hormone fluctuation from the next cocktail of hormones prescribed to you.
Humiliating yourself as you sob, plead, and beg the pharmacist on the other side of the phone to please release estrogen doses you need to stop bleeding.
Never knowing what's coming next.
Dreading every time your Instagram feed refreshes and your next friend posts their Pinterest-ey "Coming 2021!" family pic or the next ultrasound of your acquaintance's baby— when the last ultrasound you went to the sonographer couldn't find your ovaries at all. "They've atrophied to nothing and are no longer detectable."
Spending tens of thousands of dollars to hope for another “option” another “way” another pill, vitamin, supplement, in an attempt to feel balanced in your body.
Everyday doing everything you can to put your best foot forward and smile and support the pregnant women and moms around you, when everything inside you wants to scream, "FUCK YOU!" at them or collapse into a puddle.
Forever having insurance companies never covering any of your “unusual” treatments because you were diagnosed with premature menopause at 19, not 39.
Being told to hurry up and "move on" with it; “you’re just being dramatic,” "don't be a victim," "trust God's plan,"
#infertility