Girlfriend Punks Boyfriend With Help Of Her Girlfriends During Quarantine.

We got him good, y’all.

I don’t always share stories from my personal life but in the midst of all the ups and downs of the COVID-19 activity, sadness in the world, and the challenges we all face during this time of quarantining; I thought we could all use a little humor, joy, and love in our lives.

Being Quarantined With Your Partner: Add A Little Role-play In Your Quarantine!

Being confined to limited social interaction to your significant other, one can easily understand growing frustrated at the way they breathe/snore/over-analyze your relationship, etc. So in lieu of this reality; here’s a little food for thought on how to keep things fun, light hearted and playful — while being isolated and quarantined for an indefinite amount of time.

Make It A Covert Operation

So how do you surprise your boyfriend/husband/significant other into roleplaying? Set the scene!!! Create a story line where you can deploy the art of surprise. :)

Pick Your Props

One executive power suit, a pair of blue-light refracting glasses, and a $.99 white binder, and you are on your way to being a sexy …boss/inspector/real estate agent/secretary/serial entrepreneur mogul power woman/in our case — sultry Census agent ;) Use your imagination, pick 3 things in our home that work to “settle into character” — and then let your imagination roam.

Make Up. Lingerie. Confidence. Imagination = All You Need

Something that helps me channel my inner vixen? Putting on some Rihanna, and slathering on the video vamp make up. I literally pulled up Pinterest, typed in “dramatic eye make up tutorial”, found one with steps, and then went to town (Easy street - check out my top picks for sexy AF eye make up and looks on my PInterest board Bangin’ Dramatic Eye Make Up Inspo.”)

Video-Vamp-Sex-Goddess vs. Nightmare Whore Clown (A Tip For Crazy Make Up)

Be sure to have plenty of eye make up remover clothes and Q-Tips near by so you can tread that fine between video-vamp-sex-goddess and nightmarish-whore-clown (it’s a delicate balance.)

“Oh This Old Thing?” Skimpy @$$ Lingerie

I’m of the thought that having a sexy little negligee can alter the reality of the world.

Or my world anyway.

There’s something so powerful, liberating, and beautiful about wearing a sexy little something. I should clarify what I love about lingerie is I wear it for me — it supports me in worshipping and celebrating my body’s curves, owning my femininity and my sex. I personally am obsessed with Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty Lingerie Line because it’s made for women with real f#$ing curves. Their tag line is, “Savage x Fenty was created for the female gaze, not the male gaze.” …If that gives you any indicator for how empowering and refreshingly down-to-earth their product line is. You can choose between kinky as $#!t cuts and designs, or if you’re more plain vanilla keep it simple, they have cleaner more classic looks, too.

So in honor of #sultrysunday and #stayathome during this unusual quarantine moment for our society — here’s what I (Shelby) did, with the help of our girl, Madeline and her sweet friend Christina yesterday.

This was such a beautiful experience all around. Having that tension build up around being vulnerable and pulling off a '“role play” of a persona, not knowing what his reaction would be, experiencing trust around introducing some new expressions of our sensuality together from previous discussions; feeling so sexy while getting ready, busting out my old executive power suit from back in my corporate days, knowing I had a certain little something on underneath — it was such a pleasurable experience of expression on my end.

And for my male companion? After it all and we “de-roled” (identifying as who we are in real life and no longer “in character” — a crucial exercise to feel grounded) — while we were cooking dinner he shared, “I just feel so loved knowing that you took that much time in coordinating and putting that all together, and you took so much time creating that experience and loving me like that. My love tank feels so full.”

Role Playing = All The Best Parts Of Your Wedding Day.

For me, this experience reminded me of all the best parts of a wedding day. Think about it.

There’s the anticipation.

Getting to anticipate his reaction to seeing you for the first time, you’re playing a certain part — it was a high for sure.

Your Girls Are Supporting, Celebrating + Scheming With You In Getting Freaky-Deaky.

All your friends are on Threat Level Midnight skank squad mode vicariously living through you — channeling their inner freak fantasies in support of getting you laid, your very own freaky-deaky hoe blue birds rallying together in your kinky schematics.

There’s Hair, Make Up, And A Dress (Or Costume) Involved.

There’s a hair, make up, and a dress involved — this occasion mine was a sexy power suit, some high heels, a curling wand and some serious glam make up.

You Have A Blast With Your Lover.

And getting to enjoy one another and celebrate the fun we’re creating together. I mean — does that not sound like the dynamics of your wedding day?!

Role Play Tips

• Have Grace And Laugh At Yourself. Then Keep Going.

• It’s okay if you don’t perfectly stay in character.

I usually straddle feeling sexy, feeling like an idiot, and feeling like a terrible actor. I fall out of character and I fall into character. Give yourself permission to roll with the punches of the improvisational nature of role playing, it’s okay if you fall out of character, say something totally not-sexy in an attempt to be your character, or fumble over your words.

• It’s also okay to jump ship on your role play.

If your testing the waters and you’re running yourself into a wall and you’re locking up on your persona, drop the expectations on performing and shift gears into being yourself (and continue expressing your love.)

• Drop your ego.

When we’ve tried roleplaying initially, I would get so embarrassed or disappointed when I would creatively drop the ball, lose my “accent”, answer something as though I’m me and not Ivanna Makelüv or whoever, and I’d take myself out of the game and shut down emotionally.

When you’re goofing off with roleplaying — drop your ego and focus on connecting, being playful, and bonding with your partner.

• Focus on your pleasure.

Focusing on your pleasure makes it easy to give pleasure. Focus on how much fun and out there and outrageous role playing is. Don’t focus too hard to having a crazy intricate storyline, when you * ahem * start getting into it — slow down and drop your the pleasure.

• Try A “One Sided” Roleplay Character Dynamic

Okay this was a huge breakthrough AHA! moment for us. If you have a partner who’s not as improv-inclined — picking a dynamic where one of you is in character and the other person gets to be themselves, or a variation of themselves, can be really supportive to build trust. It helps us a lot. If one person is leading the role play dynamic — picking something where the non-lead can be the patient, the client, the recipient of pleasure can take the pressure off and make for a really nurturing experience.

• Have A Safe Word Or Safe Phrase

Having a simple code word or code phrase is always a great safe guard for exploring, of course.

I hope this article is supportive, playful, and inspiring for you and your relationship — with yourself, with your partner, or whatever ways you express love in your life currently. I know this content is a little “left field” for the content that’s typically on our blog, but we feel that our service is supporting couples and women throughout their relationships and phases of life, and sacred sexuality + connection in the bedroom is such a huge beautiful part of this.

I can speak to only my experience — I know I’M going through a daily rollercoaster of experience through this COVID-19 and quarantine. So I wanted to share some light hearted humor, a positive love story, and some practical thoughts around connection would support you in these challenging times.

How have you been keeping things spicy during the quarantine? Share your thoughts, tips, or ideas you’ve been dying to try (or heard a girlfriend tried!) in the comments below!

Be safe, go slow, and be sure to nourish yourself during these challenging times.